I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
