I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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