I wanna bring you to show and tell
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
