oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
