I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
