Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
