I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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