Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
