I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
