i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
