Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
