My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Your penis caused this!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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