3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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