I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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