so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
