you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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