That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
