I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
