so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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