you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
