? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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