my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
