Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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