maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i now understand why vodka
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
