That's intense
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
