Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
