yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
