We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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