She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
