after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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