At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
