thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
