I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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