Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
