He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
