Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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