I should be sponsored by Trojan
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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