So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
