just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
