so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
