I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
