Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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