I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
