I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
