Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
