It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
