yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and she was petting her beer can
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
