this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i would punch a child for taco bell
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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