First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
