So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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