Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
