All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
