Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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