Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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